BestFriends growing apart.

When someone is our 

best friend

, we usually assume that they always will be. I mean, how could things ever change? Our best friend is our shoulder to cry on after a rough day, the first person we call when we land a coveted job, someone we share our best and worst life experiences with. Sure, everyone in the world knows that “people change,” but we usually figure that our best friendship won’t — that our friendship can survive anything because our bond is impossible to break. And, of course, plenty of friendships really do survive huge massive amount of changes inevitably turn up throughout our lives— like one friend choosing to settle down and start a family while the other pursues a different path. Friendships can survive distance, life changes, and tough arguments. Stuff like that is no problem if, for example, we still love to do the same things, have the same sense of humor and value time spent together.

But, sometimes, we come to the painful realization that we’ve grown apart from a best friend. Neither of you have come to dislike the other, or done anything “wrong” — you just don’t click the way you used to. One or both of you have changed, and you’ve evolved in ways that have left the two of you incompatible as best friends. It’s certainly not an easy realization, but we owe it to ourselves and each other to respectfully acknowledge when a friendship has run its course. It doesn’t mean we no longer love or care about each other, but it’s an indication that we shouldn’t force a close relationship that’s just not working the way that it used to — because doing so will ultimately frustrate us and tarnish our happy memories together.

In case if you’re wondering if there might be some changes between you and your best friend. Here are few ways to find out. Or atleast what I think I’m facing with my best friend

1. You Have Constant Misunderstandings.

Remember when you and your BFF used to basically have your own language, filled with countless inside jokes? Your conversations often made zero sense to anyone else, because you two had a thing between you  of your very own which might not exist now.

Now, not only has that aspect of your friendship faded away, but you constantly find yourself having misunderstandings with your best friend that range from minor to major. Although occasional conflict is unavoidable in any friendship, you find yourself frustrated by unnecessary arguments that stem from the fact that you just don’t really “get” each other anymore like  the way you used to. There may be hurt feelings on both sides of the friendship because you keep misconstruing each other’s actions and words — simply because you’re not in tune with each other any longer.

2. You Go Weeks Without Talking — And It Doesn’t Bother You like it used to before

When we’re young or middle school, lots of best friends see each other all the time and basically assume that they’ll hang out every weekend. As life goes on, and best friends move or have to take up more life responsibilities, they often can’t hang out as often as they used to — but they still make staying in touch a priority, religiously scheduling hangout dates, calling each other often, and always knowing what’s going on in each other’s lives.


However, if there’s a significant change in the frequency of your contact with your best friend  and you don’t notice it immediately, it’s a sign that you and your friend are growing apart — especially if you don’t really feel upset when you realize you haven’t spoken for weeks. But you do feel upset because but you just want to be a tough guy

3. Neither Of You Seems To The Friendship.

Your friend isn’t making an effort to reach out and make plans, but you can’t really blame them — because you’re not reaching out to them, either. You feel like you shouldreach out, but then you make excuses not to. And, deep down, you know it’s because your time together isn’t enjoyable like it used to be and you’d prefer to do other things with your time. This doesn’t make you a bad person — but it may well mean that you and your best friend are unfortunately  growing apart.


4. You Have Nothing In Common Anymore.

Plenty of friends have different interests and priorities — but I’m talking about when you have literally nothing in common to discuss and there seem to be no activities that you can enjoy together anymore. Your paths, priorities, and interests have diverged so wildly that you can’t find any common ground. It feels impossible to plan a fun day or weekend because you don’t have any overlapping hobbies, and you can’t even have a lively debate about current events because you don’t care about the same things like you used to.

When you’re in such different places in your lives that neither of you really understands what the other is going through, and you consistently find yourself at a loss over what to say to your friend, it’s a very strong sign that you’re growing apart.

5. When Something Major Happens, You Don’t Think To Call Them.

Your best friend used to be the first person you called after a miserable day or when something positive happened — a job promotion, a promising first date, or a cool new apartment. But now, it doesn’t really occur to you to reach out right away when you have any sort of news — good or bad. Other friends or family members have become your “go to” people.

6. When You Do Make An Effort, It’s Just Because You Feel Nostalgic

There’s no sugarcoating it — acknowledging that you and your best friend have grown apart can be really painful and upsetting. Sometimes, we delay dealing with the inevitable, just because we have so many memories of the wonderful experiences we shared and the times our besties were our lifeline during a rough patch. Even if we’ve realized that we’re no longer compatible as BFFs, sometimes we’ll hold onto the friendship because we feel nostalgic. Unfortunately, I’ve learned the hard way that nostalgia and fond memories aren’t enough to hold a friendship together. (I know this sounds super obvious — but it’s hard to accept when it’s happening to you.)

When you reach out to your friend, be honest with yourself about why you’re doing it. Are you genuinely excited to see them and catch up, or are you just desperately hoping that things will suddenly go back to the way they were before? If it’s the latter, you’re doing a disservice to both yourself and your friend — and continuing to hang out may even end up tarnishing your fond memories of your friendship in better days.

Unless one of you has done something unforgivable, there’s no need to burn a bridge and dramatically announce that the friendship is over. When friends grow apart, you usually both feel it and it’s OK to acknowledge that. But they’ll always hold a special place in your heart, and you don’t need to cut ties completely. Stay cordial and respectful, and try to focus on the positive — that you had a great friendship for many years that brought you mutual joy and support. Not every friendship is meant to last forever and you’ll always care about the person — even if they’re not destined to be your lifelong BFF.

It’s weird when you realize the person you once told everything to now has no idea of what’s happening in your life.

It’s true Sometimes Friendships fade

The ones where you gave it your all

The ones that you felt that they would be there for you forever but something happened or maybe nothing at all, whatever it was it caused our friendship to fade and I don’t want us to be brother to best friends. Best friends to friends. And friends to acquaintance and one day we just turn into strangers and maybe I am or just might wrong about my friendship because I’m the one who always makes big assumptions about small little things and the it turns out to be wrong. We still might be BestFriends and remain the same. Like the moon keeps shining at the night. No matter how far it is. It never loses the shine. It glows. Same way it goes for our friendship. We might think it is over. But it’s not. It’s all in the mind. We just need to understand the circumstances we are in.

We all have rough times. Maybe the other person is not good at expressing love for their bestfriend. But deep inside he/she  values it. With honour, dignity and respect.

I really don’t mean to hurt anyone but sometimes I do need space. maybe alot of times. Sometimes I could be a really depressing or maybe it’s just my overthinking. But I really can’t help it. And I don’t bother telling people my problem because I think it’s me burdening people with all my problems. I’d love to help people and be there for my friends whenever they need me but in my case I suppose it’s different. Sometimes I wonder why am I his bestfriend he could find someone better. I feel worthless of him and our friendship. I feel I don’t deserve to have such an amazing bestfriend in my life. To other people he might be different. But in my terms I see it as brotherhood. Which is way more than a BestFriend. Maybe this isn’t even the right thing to be thinking about. Yes, I overthink things alot. Even about things that really do not matter. Is over thinking bad? Yes

I don’t even have the slightest idea why am I even writing this blog. I guess maybe because I don’t want people to listen to my silly problems. I wanted to keep this problem of mine  to myself. And I’m assuming that we’re still brothers matter what. There’s just this weird attitude I feel we have between us which maybe never existed but which now started existing and is changing our lives massively. And I don’t know what to do about it. So I’m writing it here so that I can maybe feel better that I’m letting it out.

 

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can’t cover up what you’ve done,
Now don’t lose your fight, kid,
It only takes a little push to pull on through,
With so much left to do;
You’ll be missing out, and we’ll be missing you


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